12-3-09: Duke: Parents' Peace of Mind

Durham, NC -- Nancy and Kevin Shambley wanted children since they married more than eight years ago, but doctors said it probably wouldn’t happen. Still, they tried to get pregnant for six years.

Lucky for them, two boys came along and changed their lives. They hadn’t considered adopting kids until their pastor at Liberty Baptist Church in Durham pointed them in the direction of Ross and Jackson, 3-year old twins.

The choice was easy.

“I was able to put the hurt and disappointment of not being able to have my own children aside and that was such a good feeling,” said Nancy Shambley, an administrative assistant with Duke HomeCare and Hospice.

“I was able to concentrate on the happiness that I knew was waiting for us.”

The Shambleys welcomed Ross and Jackson into their home as foster parents in August 2007, and when their adoption became official in June 2008, Nancy used Duke’s Parental Leave Benefit to bolster her relationship with her sons.

“That time I had a off just solidified our relationship and helped to show Ross and Jackson that they were ours, they live with us and they’re our children,” she said. “That’s when it became real clear to them that we got to be their mommy and daddy.”

During any month, Duke averages about 20 employees who use the Parental Leave Benefit, which provides three weeks of full base pay to eligible university and health system staff – either female or male – who are considered the primary caregiver in their families during the leave period. The benefit is one of many family-friendly perks that has garnered Duke a spot as a top employer in North Carolina by Carolina Parent magazine for eight consecutive years, as well as being named a “Great College to Work For” by The Chronicle of Higher Education in 2008 and 2009.

“We aim to help support the needs of our employees both in their work lives and their family,” said Kyle Cavanaugh, vice president for human resources. “It’s a priority to support Duke’s employees in a way that allows them to balance their personal and professional goals, which makes their work and home life more rewarding.”

Employees may be eligible for up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave under the Family Medical Leave Act after giving birth or adopting children. The Duke benefit allows eligible employees to use their accrued paid time off – as well as three additional weeks of paid leave – toward the 12 weeks.

Denise Evans, executive director of Duke Staff and Labor Relations, said one of the key parts of Duke’s benefit, which is available to a natural parent, same sex partner or a new adoptive parent, is that 100 percent of an employee’s pay is covered while they use the parental leave benefit. Other employers may offer four to six weeks off but often at a lower percentage of pay, she said.

“Most places will say how many weeks you get, but you have to ask the next question of how much pay you receive,” Evans said. “The best part about Duke’s benefit is you’re able to have that time with your child, and you’re not worrying about pay during that period.”

That time is an important part of caring for a child, said Lisa Berlin, a research scientist with Duke’s Center for Child and Family Policy.

“It’s an enormous transition taking a new child into a family and acquiring a new family member – especially for the first time,” Berlin said. “I think that to have some time to devote to that adjustment physically and emotionally is crucial.”

Berlin added that the first year of parent-child interaction has proven to be pivotal in a child’s development, socially and emotionally. With that time together, children are able to enhance their cognitive development and learn social skills. In a case like the Shambleys, who adopted, Berlin said that it can be even more important to have parental leave.

“It can be a more abrupt transition for both the child and parents because you don’t have nine months of a pregnancy,” she said. “It can obviously be traumatic for a child to move in with a new caregiver, but parents also need some kind of protected time to respond to the transition of becoming a caregiver.”

That advice isn’t just for adopting parents. James Todd, a senior writer and multimedia producer with the Office of News and Communications, said that his schedule and routine changed drastically with the birth of his sons Levi in 2007 and Samuel in 2008. He said it was important to get time off to adjust and make sure his family got the care and attention they deserved.

“It was great because I was able to welcome an entirely new human being into our family, get to know them and get to build that love and trust,” Todd said. “But the best part was it was in a way that was flexible and not pressured because I had that time off.”

For Nancy Shambley, the Duke administrative assistant, the time off allowed her to take sons Ross and Jackson to visit family members in Durham and Raleigh, get them enrolled to play T-ball and go to a local swimming pool.

“I knew I could go to spend time with them and it would be OK because I didn’t have to worry about work or money,” she said. “I was cementing that relationship and working on things that we wouldn’t be able to.”

Ross and Jackson, who are now 5, liked having their mom around because it meant they got home cooked meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Ross said it was “cool” to have his mom at home, and Jackson was glad he could get all the macaroni and cheese he could eat.

Shambley said she was just happy to have one important change happen – getting to hear her kids use the word “mommy” every day.

“I got to play full-time mom during my leave, which was fantastic,” she said. “I was the face that they saw in the morning and when they went to bed at night. For me to have that time off and to be able to grow that relationship meant they got the attention they craved and needed, and I was more than willing to give it to them.”

http://news.duke.edu/2009/12/parentalleave.html